How Much Money Can I Make By Being Pat?
PAT ROBERTSON FOUND GOD IN 1951
As many of you have probably heard, Pat Robertson has compared the judge's judicial activism to the same actions as El Quaeda. It ironic to hear Pat say this since he has so many skeletons in his closet as well.
Pat was a first lieutenant in the United States Marine Corps serving in Japan in 1950. All was going well until the North Koreans invaded the South and a major war broke out. The Marines were the only fully trained military group available and were quickly ordered to board ships for Korea. Now, Pat didn't really like this idea since he had a good life going with his house maid, plenty of booze and all the other accoutrements. Consequently, Pat simply decided not to board the troop ship bound for a combat zone. Normally, this is construed as a major breach of the Universal Code of Military Justice with execution carried out for conviction, but Robertson was under a different god namely his father, a United States Senator. Pat boarded the next troop ship and was quickly assigned as a liquor control officer.
Not much would have been thought of this had not Robertson decided to brag about his combat record exploits while a presidential candidate during the 1988 campaign. Unfortunately, Representative Pete McCloskey, California, heard this incredible utterances and challenge the erstwhile former absent lieutenant since McCloskey was also assigned as an officer to the same unit. Robertson immediately hit him with a lawsuit, but McCloskey went one step further and obtained over 150 sworn affidavits from enlisted and officer personnel alike verifying Robertson failed to meet a troopship during war and senatorial intervention prevented disciplinary measures. Pat quickly dropped his lawsuit citing pressing presidential campaign business, but quickly moved the documents be sealed. They may have been, but the marines certainly were not since it scuttled the absent lieutenant's aspirations.
This doesn't end Robertson's walking on the wild side. Years later he decided a certain ruler in Central America was a great Christian and surepititiously supplied money for his needs. Problem was this was illegal and secondly, Rios Montt, was now generally viewed as not being that pious by everyone. In fact, he was later cited by many rights groups for ordering massacres of several villages simply because they did not greet his soldiers the right way. When asked during an interview about this, Montt stated a villager threw a rock at his troops and obviously this meant they were communists since only communists would do a thing like that. The village was compeltely obliterated. Robertson like to feature Montt as a great Christian during segments in the 700 Club and really disliked any adverse reporting. Additionally, Robertson violated federal law by supplying the Contras directly, but the Reagan Administration looked the other way since they were so knee deep in violating federal law anyway.
Next we find Pat engaging in business deals with the despot leader of Nigeria, Charles Taylor. Pat wanted to invest thousands in a gold mine and quickly came to a deal with Taylor, but then learned only the representative body of Nigeria could approve the transaction. He quickly pulled it back and went around to the back door where a PERSONAL DEAL could be negotiated with Taylor for all the riches to come. Unfortunately, various world bodies quickly exposed Taylor as a brutal sadistic ruler who glorified in savagery and enriching his own coffers. Robertson quickly went to Taylor's defense branding him as a good Christian who has done a wonderful job bringing the word of God to his people. Regardless of the word, Taylor was later forced to flee for his life and his sad ugly story came out. Robertson stated his money was just a business lost anyway and left it at that.
You hear Pat talk a great deal about his humanitarian efforts in Africa, but closer examination shows these were commercial flights carrying machinery and other equipment for his business investments in lieu of the standard humanitarian loads. You see, God has told Pat to make money on the backs of various third world populations and it would uplift them.
Now, former Reverend Pat is chastising judges for beng judicially independent when they could have been making decisions better satisfying him and his ilk. He went further to compare them with Al Quaeda in their ruthlessness. Gosh, Pat, how does this compare to you being AWOL from your troopship and later supporting a ruthless dictator more bent on killing, raping and looting his own people. I think, Pat, you need to suck in a whole spoonful of alum to quiet your tongue from uttering such fluff. Its obvious God forsook you a long time ago or you would have made a profit in Nigeria.
Now, Friends, Pat doesn't really represent Christians; he simply asks them to give in order to have their investments assist only those who truly need them: dictators, gold merchants, silver mines, etc.
We mustn't forget his investment into the Bank of Scotland where they even were going to place him on the Board. They were until it was pointed out no none islander had even been on the board prior and the Charles Taylor thing was really playing out. Consequently, Pat was relegated to another good idea gone bad. He just doesn't seem to have the luck due to that evil part of him.
My proposition for Pat is relatively simple: give me some seed money to start an organization to provide former televangelists with psychiatric, psychological and therapeutic assistance for their many maladies such as illusions of grandeur, schizoid personality, greed, avarice, and numerous other DSM IV listings as applicable. The best will be provided rehab therapy such as really having to work for the good of people; and god forbid, being honest. They also have to attend services provided by local Wiccans, adherents of Anton Lavey and Barney.
To sum it up, Pat has been absent without leave from his own beliefs for decades and substitutes the gold standard in their place.
Sad, but true. Wonder how many Marines he could have possibly helped prevent their demise during combat? Of course, thats something that never crosses his guiltless mind.