Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes that you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid.
– President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Once again, remind myself that the President doesn't read papers or books without pictures; he depends on his aides to brief him on anything important. Oh, Aid!!! Oh, Aid!!!!
A recently released MI6 report indicates Dubya and Papa Blair had already agreed by July, 2002, to invade Iraq. This was about a year before the war was launched and the two leaders decided to oust Sadaam by shaping intelligence for that goal and never really had any intention to avert a war. The British Government has already certified the validity of the document and it poses a possible impeachment for George. On a side note, President Bush introduced a bill for a 10,000 square foot condominim with all the accoutrements, bike tracks, a library of Billy The Goat books, and a tennis court for a new high roller federal prison. He expects full cooperation from Congress and a soon arrival.
VP Cheney claims to have no knowledge of wrongdoing, anything else and will apply for another draft deferment..
Secretary of State Rumsfeld is pleading pre-dementia and cannot recall anything but his 401Ks, Swiss bank account numbers and how successful he wasn't in creating the new military.
88 Congressional Members have asked George to explain the MI6 document content, but so far the President has only stated "Ari Fleischer made me do it!" When really pushed to explain, the President ran from the room screaming, "no pictures, no read."
Let me see if I understand this....a Republican and member of George's Family Values Council has admitted having sex with a mule.....hmmmmmm. Well, at least its all in the family.
Dennis Miller is still fired, but is applying for the Court Jester position at the White House. He has stiff competition from Scott McClellan, but will prevail since he bet it all on the Dubya.
Major automobile have their stocks downgraded to almost worthless and this economy is not in trouble?????
On a serious note, Pat Robertson has announced he will soon be directing a hostile takeover of Oral Roberts' 900 foot high Jesus and is requesting faith partners to donate at least $5 million to avert his return to an honest life.
Along the same lines, Vice President Dick Cheney held a special press conference to announce he was not in the Cessna which recently violated White House space by existing. Further, the VP claimed he didn't what one looked like and was probably eligible for a 6th deferrment from the military draft.
2nd Lady Lynn Cheney also announced her prior novels were not lesbian erotic novels but merely Sapphos inclined debauchery with a tendency toward intimacy not normally associated with heterosexual relationships. Jeff Gannon concurred with her findings.
Speaking of Jeff, he is really upset about not being able to visit the White House late in the evening like before. Wonder who the John was? There was a scandal under Daddy Bush's White House with the same thing, but not Jeff. Wonder who the Johns were?
Jennifer Aniston is definitely not going to reconcile with herself after a very publicized breakup.
Daniel Day Lewis is one talented actor who keeps producing one good movie after another. Wonder how that makes Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears feel?
Is the AFLAC Duck a licensed insurance representative in accordance with the laws of its state?
Would we trust Bolton to babysit our children much less represent this nation at the United Nations?
Submariners are very upset with the potential closing of Rotten Groton, Connecticut. The place holds so many memories for the entire Silent Service that this writer believes it needs more consideration. Just look at all the teeth prints at the Petty Officer Bar.
The only major bases not considered for closing which would save billions were Iraq and Afghanistan. Secretary Rumseld stated he had difficulty finding these nations on the map and thus could not calculate the total save or his IQ.
O'Reilly viewership is down by 30% and plunger lower than Dennis Miller. Now, the erstwhile spinner of fibs once claimed 6,000,000 watched him, but then it was discovered only 2,000,000 actually cared enough. Now if we deduct 30% of this we come up with 600,000 which means his viewership is 1,400,000 people. Knowing O'Reilly, this energetic bunch was actually recruited from a Haitian Zombie Corps, only know two words O Reilly, and automatically sign fan letters. Hey, O'Reilly, you started diving after sexually harassing your own producer. Quit lying, tell the truth and leave. There's a reality show out there for you some where--humping a rifle in Iraq. I can see it now: Rush, Michael Savage and O'Reilly humping the desert for someone to harass.
The baseball steroids issue seems to have passed into the clubhouse for better varieties.
And Finally, The Minutemen gave up their patriotically inspired defense of Arizona's borders for a better and cooler climate in San Diego. It had absolutely nothing to do with the Mexican Army moving forces to their area across the border nor the crosses deviating to either flank to go around. It was simply too darn hot and they aren't paid enough to endure uncomfortable conditions. Next time there will be coolers and cable. The life of a vigilante.
I thinkthere I am; and still in need of a job. Writer/Historian available here.
Will work for internet access........