How To Avoid Mistakes Presidential Style
Millions of American children are green with envy over President Bush's method of handling mistakes when caught. They watch him closely and imitate his style of passing the responsibility off, blame the opposing ideology or the press. Its that easy and then if a problem arises, simply attack the Fourth Estate for stating it regardless-accuse of vileness, a lack of patriotism, an agenda or more control is needed. Regardless, these are great role models for our children to follow and learn from the less than great ones. The best was during the debate when the President was asked if he had made any mistakes during his first term and he could not think of a single one. Simply amazing and the youth he impacted with that silence! What a trained generation of Bushites we have coming on board. No need to cite mistakes when you are always right!!!! Nottttttttttttttttttt!!
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Warren Beatty announced he was not going to place his hat in the ring against Arnold Schwarzennegger for the governship of California. Democrats have turned to a proven leadership team more well known than the governor for getting the job done and able to deflect nasties from the opposition: The Teletubbies. Better know, but perhaps the most important factor-better English.
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Brittany Spears is stil pregnant, but her dog is following Kevin Federline.
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Rush Limbaugh is perspiring profusely after Florida authorities announced his medical records will be seized as evidence to prove he is alive. Limbaugh, facing indictment for drug usage, will argue he has been legally dead for years after failing the intellectual apnea test thus any indictment is fruitless. Prosecutors will argue the opposite citing the nearly $10000 spent weekly to buy hillbilly heroin (oxycontin) from his former maid. Limbaugh's former wife lives next door to his palatial estate and is expected to testisfy for the prosecution acknowledging Rush was almost living most of their marriage except where it mattered.
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A recent Gallup Poll indicated only 40% of Americans approve the way President "Pointer George" Bush is handling the Iraq war. George's handlers have told him nearly 80% of Americans approve his handling the conflict and thus he shouldn't be concerned. Of course the President doesn't know the difference since he admitted not reading papers and only watches Desperate Housewives to keep up on current events. 58%, according to the same poll, felt Replubvans in Congress were acting like "small children" and only 31% polled indicated Congress were anything close to "responsible adults." Gotta make you wonder why we pay the people so much money to act irresponsibly!
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The Senate refused to pass a bill to improve Veterans health benefits voting along party lines-Democrats for and Republicans against. Republican thinking was why should the country pay for those injured when they are stupid enough to enlist. The Senate could use large doses of Prozac!
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First Lady Laura Bush was heckled while visiting Jerusalem recently. It had nothing to do with her interrupting a Muslim religious service for a sight seeing tour of the facility. Of course, her hrecklers were both Jewish and Muslim which is the first time they have joined hands politically in years. Once again, the Bushes have successfully unified former foes against the United States.
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The First Daughters have dropped out of sight and mind. Other than that, who cares!
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Tom Cruse is coming out in a new remake of War of the Worlds produced by Steven Spielberg. This production will not center on aliens being subdued by earth germs, but rather on a hot shot former Navy pilot singing in his underwear screaming "give me the money" while moving his hands on a transparent screen plotting dreams during the Oklahoma land grant run after coming over from Ireland during a high school football game in Pennyslvania. It will be a short movie.
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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are starring in a movie about two covert operators whose jobs are so secret they don't even realize they are married. Nothing new about this plot since it happens every day to couples in America.
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The Halliburton Corporation board meeting was interrupted by demonstrators recently. The hecklers, led by a mysterious bespectacle middle aged man whose first name was Dick and last name Cheney, wanted more honesty and clarification of outgoing funding. Reporters attempting to interview the man called Dick were unable to stop him from applying for a sixth draft deferment nor gain any type of intelligible nor printable comment beyond profanity.
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The Marines found 10,000 flak jackets were defective after sand penetrated the protective kevlar and caused severe rash to a commanding general. All jackets were called in for inspection and combat troops were instructed to do the best they could not to get injured in combat or Oceanside CA.
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Base closures made headlines recently featuring many prominent names in military history: Lackland AFB, Walter Reed Army Medical Center, and many more. Not being closed or realigned are plush general quarters near Washington DC nor Dick Cheney's electrical bill paid for by the Navy which he stiffed for months awhile back.
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The Senate has been busy arguing, pouting and faking tears over judicial appointments, but Congress still finds time for very important tasks, i.e. more improved retirement benefits, pay raises and important public relations contracts.
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The Senate found both Democrat and Republican moderates who put together a compromise for voting on judicial nominess and other stipulations. One major stipulation according to an inside source is the President will take diction lessons and learn how to say stip u la tion, nu cle ar, pre si dent, im peach ment, give me the money.
Lessons are being obtained from Laura who recently returned from the Middle East with a flak jacket, Muslim and Jewish curses and shaking her head why they just can't accept Jesus.
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Michael Jackson may get off the hook. His defense did a great job showing what grifter his mother was and how that had rubbed off on the kid. Now the jury has to determine whether the porno magazines and rose red palms in Michael's possession are grounds to convict him for molesting himself. So, far the Chimp has been quiet, but has indicated he can be bought at price.
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Speaking of being bought off, the United States Army came under criticism from the parent of former NFL star/Army Ranger Pat Tillman who was killed in Afghanistan. Seems the Army knew all the particulars within a week, but did not change any of the news reports regrading hostile action, etc., until it leaked out. Pat was killed by friendly fire, but his poor parents were not told a thing. The Army is going to award a Silver Star to Pat Tillman not for heroic actions, but for what he would have done. Rest in peace, Pat.
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I would also like to apply for medals while serving in Southeast Asia for action I might have taken and believe they are of sufficient standing to merit the Silver Star or Congressional Medal of HOnor. This is meant as no disrespect to Pat Tillman, but is tweaking the Army a bit on this change of policy. There were many incidents in which I could have done more befitting higher medals. Who do I talk to? President Bush, no-he's not a Veterans; VP Cheney-forget it>5 draft deferment and a baby; I'll find someone to hear my stores even though they are classified. I'll probably get another wienie ribbon and a day pass to the local VA hosptial pscyh ward...gee, at least its free room and board for day.
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Your word for the day to look up is AVER. Very important in today's word.
Keep'em flying and remember none of you are safe when Congress is in session.