Oinker Envy Will Destroy Bubble Boy
"He was a wonderful contrast for Eva Gabor and fun to write for. Eva's an elegant beauty and with Arnold playing with her we got part of the old beauty and the beast identification in a humorous manner. In the show, she treated the pig just like a young boy and the audience loved it."
Jerry Sommers, American producer and writer for Green Acres, a mid 1960's TV sit-com.
Arnold Ziffel, very popular actor from the television series Green Acres went to porker heaven in 1972. He was an immensely intelligent young man who sparred with the best minds in the business and usually won. Then President Richard Nixon was considering appointing him to be Ambassador to the United Nations, but found him too savvy for his ego. Arnold informed the president he had enough oinkers around him already dragging the administration down into the wallow. Arnold told Dick he preferred choosing his own friends rather than yes people. Strong words for a country buff. Nixon attempted to force an IRS audit upon Arnold, but the wily one proclaimed himself a national sovereign duling reporting Tricky Dick to the ASPCA, NRA, FFA, PGA and such.. Nixon withdrew swearing retribution, but unfortunately the grim reaper took Ziffel first.
Arnold Ziffel: poet, writer, classical music expert, political scientist, progenitor of Miss Piggy, and wily opponent of those who opposed this great nation. A great purebred American.
Rest In Peace
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Along the same vein, President Bubble Boy Bush has announced a 60 day tour of the United States to hawk his Social Insecurity privatization plan; now reduced to a 30 day tour and probably will be cut back again to a one day trip riding his bicycle around the Maryland countryside stopping anyone who appears to care. Hey, Bubble Boy, there are more important issues than lining the pockets of your buds>like Iraq, Afganistanc, affordable medial care, etc.
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Bubble Boy also went on the record blaming the press for Iraqi problems. Seems he feels just when defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory, the press would screw it up. No wonder he turned to Jeff Gannon, male escort webmaster and pseudo-journalist, for a welcome ear. Jeff would visit late at night (its twue! according to Secret Service logsheets!), but no one knew who he came to see or when he left. Methinks, as Pogo stated years ago, "we have met the enemy and they is us."
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The Michael Jackson trial has been turned over to the jury, but they wanted to hand it back, call it a day and go home. The presiding judge stated their had to be a verdict forcing the jury to retire for discussion about Michael's umbrella. The Jackson Clan did show in court to show their support for Michael on this last day of deliberations, but did not perform. They left that up to the Jackson fans who were funny enough. Only time will tell whether the jury finds him GUILTY or INNOCENT of being not too bright. Michael Jackson should pack it in if found innocent, divest himself of US holdings and move to France. Get out of Dodge before someone else decides to file another suit. On the other hand, he should contact Martha Stewart if found guilty to discuss the best resort prisons in this nation and particularly how to make millions at the expense of others who lost life savings. Gosh, isn't justice for the rich and famous a stitch??
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Kathie Lee Gifford states she is offended at not being invited back to Regis & Kelly. That's like the Texas Air National Guard being chafed over Bubble Boy wanting to finish off the 18 missing months in his military obligation. No way; go away and stay with Cody. You too, Bubble Boy!
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A famous newspaper recently printed a schmucky article about the everyday Deferment Dick and Exotic Lesbian Novel author Lynne Cheney family having a normal evening dinner. Trying their best to be like the Cleaver Family, Ward (Dick) attempted to assert his authority while June (Lynne) acquiesed perpetually to the kids and her husband. Sorry, people, there is enough dysfunction here to make an infinite perpetual energy machine.
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The Navy is making earth shaking important decisions with ramifications around the globe: new uniforms which seem an awful lot like current USMC ones. Further, hours have been devoted to determining the proper attire for physical training-the right shorts, the right shirt equate the right attitude. Wonder why Blackwell isn't taking this into assessment for his critiques? Its important for a military branch to consider all their minor options when so many major ones need to be neglected in absence of positive spin. Where are you when we need you the most, Admiral Zumwalt!!
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Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld is upset which indicates he does have emotions therefore he thinks, there he is, therefore he exists. Not good news for the military community.
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The Department of Veteran Affairs has begun closing down various hospital wards claiming its part of a cost-saving measure. Their reasoning is simple-closure means Vets will not use them thus saving money for overhead, salaries, etc. Gee, that's shrewd thinking at the expense of those of served honorably and at cost of their personal well being. Bubble Boy sez his administration has been very kind and supportive to Vets. Right, and Vlad the Impaler always gave morphine shots to his intended victims. Get a life, George, and come down to wear their shoes for a while. Sorry, forgot he's not a Vet-no federal active duty time-just Air National Guard and off time.
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Finally, Pickles Bush, esteemed First Lady, has created a stir by intimating she may run against former First Lady and current Senator Hillary Clinton. Hmmmmm, that's kind of like her husband, Bubble Boy, giving a lecture on sexually transmitted diseases to a group of nuns. No relevance, no way, no how. Pickles just needs to fess up and just say no when George mutters "no damn gulag in my administrashun!"