How I Kept My Soul From Redmond
My first computer was a Commodore 64 and what a joy then. The graphics were superb, computing a whiz and hooking up to Q-Link unbelievable. Naturally, a Commodore 128 was the logical next step and my reveling didn't stop. Something happened after that to change my mental health completely: Windows 3.11. Anyone who has been around since the prehistoric days of home computing and the gigantic office IBM 360/40 knows what this is a hint towards-it was revolutionary to comprehend. Finally, a home system with a GUI to work from. This is not meant to construe DOS wasn't enjoyable, but the opportunity to use a mouse to perform various operations was unfathomable.
Thus, my quest towards the bottomless pit of comprehending Microsoft operating systems began. 3.1.1 was reasonable stable with fantastic system utilities to tuneup a computer. There were, however, some glitches which forced the purchase of an official Microsoft publication to understand. Their guide took several readings to comprehend the new argot, acronyms and actual meaning. Then it struck me like a thunderbolt!! My whole computing direction would have to be reallocated towards Redmond, Washington. Struggling with this, a new salvation was discovered in Windows 3.1 for Dummies.
This publication was intelligible reading, covered a vast amount of information and was undeniable assistive. Most operations were simplified, but those MS system messages were hieroglyphics. One could deal with the blue screen of death, but offical system messages were something else no reasonably sane person should have to endure. After all, all I wanted to do was compute; not comprehend the entire breadth of 3.11. There was my tragic flaw emerging again...Redmonizing demanded my entire being to understand emerging deep dark secrets such as the registry jungle.
Still resisting complete transformation, many issues posed a great challenge not covered by the wonderful Dummies series. I tried looking at 3.11 from different angles to comprehend the sacred mysteries and opted to go the next step instead. Windows 95 was purchased since undoubtedly all these problems would be solved. Alas and alack, the conversion was easily accomplished and logging on the first time was a breath of fresh air. For a short period of time (30 seconds or so), sense prevailed and then those strange messages were seen again. Fearing a poltergeist, a guru was summoned to expel all demons, but to no avail. Seeking further absolution, I rushed out and purchased the Offical Windows 95 Resource book. Ahhhhhhh, it was written in Microsoftese and again a journey was made to another store where an excellent third party vendor publication was found.
Now, Windows 95 rituals were becoming clear except for a few or maybe more. Then there was the official Microsoft website which housed an abundance of technical information if you knew the right words or phrases to search with. One had to use the accepted MS argot if a solution was to be found and there was no other choice. Feeling that uncomfortable tug once again, a further immersion into the pit was made.
Then there were cookies and not the enjoyable type Grandma made. These were bearers of information both Microsoft and any other entity under the sun placed on one's system to assist with signing in on a website with the same information repeatedly and by coincidence, providing absolute marketing information to those myriad of servers. Common sense dictated defragmenting your computer if it was running slower than usual, but never mind those 10,000 cookies in a single file. Thus we learned to tweak even Microsoft in this early age. Third party vendors began offering cooking control software giving the operator a choice of whether to allow or not. Undoubtedly, this was something MS had not conceived in their omniscient thinking.
A feeling of control began coming over me as more knowledge was gained in the struggle with the behemoth. Before long, Windows 98 and were upgraded to with confidence enough to enter the sacred of sacreds-the registery. The registry is similar to a jungle with single, double and triple canopy. The iniatiate avoids the frightening place completely until some fix requires a foray to repair an ill. Triple canopy is day appearing as night with so much foliage preventing a ray prevailing, but eventually this turns into double and single with knowledge and experience. The registry is still a place of foreboding, but the abundance of community and technical sites offering fixes is almost a cure in itself from the dismal pit plunge.
Microsoft operating systems are not so frightening now as then when little information was available. Now one can comprehend the sacred secrets and even make forays into Linux, Knopfix and other operating systems. Still, those messages and the registry remain reminding us of once Redmond demanded our soul for the sake of knowledge and didn't even offer a free trip.