We Shall All Rejoice By Fleecing All The Sheep
Congress just recently voted themselves another pay increase since its getting more difficult to live on what a public servant income providess, speaking fees, donations, etc. You just don't the trials and tribulations of congressional servitude in addition to the economic travails. For examaple, let's look at an average congressmember personal budget:
POOR WIDDLE ME INCOME FOR THIS YEAR
Taxpayer Income As Representative……………….$165,000
Speaking Engagements……………………………..$150,000
Speaking Engagement Paid Not To Speak………. $2.4 million
Soft Money……………………………………………….....$2.4 million
Softer Money………………………………………………..$3 million
Softest Money……………………………………………....$5 million
Liquid Money....oil well deeds............................................$unlimited
PAC Man Money…………………………………………....$300,000
Cuba Laundry Money…………………………………...…$400,000
Defense Advisory Fees…………………………………....$3 million (more coming, thanks Richard)
Jeff Gannon Split Fee (velly quiet on this)………............$17,000
Uncle Bill’s Greasy Massage (extra velly quiet)..............$25,000
Iraq Government Fee (exceptionally velly quiet)..............$3.4 million
Uncle Tom Delay’s Follow Me Fee……………….….…..$28,000
Faith Based Initiative……………………………………....$1.2 million
.....................................................................GRANT TOTAL $22,351,592
........................Sun Myung Moon (exceedingly velly quiet) $3,000,000
EXPENSES
Housing……picked up by lobbyist…Thanks, Duke
Free medical, dental, psychiatric
Cheap food at Five Star Capitol Cafeteria Free
Booze courtesty of distilleries (velly quiet)
Free franking, bobbing and sinking
Free, just about everything
Flowers For Spouse at home, business expense $24,499,795
Contribution, Right Wing Christian All In One Prayer Banana $5
Unification Church for Sun Myung Moon messiah donation $200 (don't let above know about below)
Well, it looks like I made a profit this year.
Tax…uhmmmm, will contact IRS about permanent exemption.
If that doesn’t work, just find good tax person in Bahamas.
District Travel-if I have to just to wave flag and get more donations.
Don’t forget big holiday extravaganza junket flight to China-no charge, picked up by taxpayer and lobbyists. Don't forget to file staff report just in case.
Flatter Bill Frist by giving him a golden syringe
Remember to write off cost of participating in President In A Bubble's Iraq Chorus
At least $24,500,00 in itemized deductions and contributions to my charity-me!
Remind self to create list of accomplishments the past two years for reelection.....